i feel so tired.... so sleepy but i dont want to go to bed yet. listening to 

its a cute song.... i like it.  ok its over now....  well i had already posted
something but my stupid computer made everything go bye-bye!

is wish i could explain what i feel right now. but icant

i have so many things to worry about right now. and so many
things to solve and i dont know how. 

i love john so much but i'm just very afraid right now of not being
able to be with him. it scares me sometimes  that what if i'm not 
supposed to be for him and that maybe he deserves better.

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